Monday, January 12, 2009

My Friend

I am grateful for this is blog (and have missed contributing) partly because it is a space for me to write down things my children say that I want to always remember.

At least once a day, my 4-year old son tells me that we are good friends. "We're very good friends, aren't we Mommy," he'll say. Or when we walk to shul together he'll hold my hand and say, "Isn't it nice to walk together mommy? We're good friends." And every morning we snuggle for a few minutes and he comments, "You're my friend."

It's a big counter-intuitive (I'm supposed to be his mommy, right, not his buddy), but I've found that the friend language is also useful in terms of discipline. I find that the more I use the friend language, the more respectful he is and the more likely he is to listen to to my instructions gracefully.

Don't get me wrong. There are PLENTY of times when this does not work. Mainly because it is hard to switch into "affectionate friend mode" when I am frustrated at his behavior. And because when he is misbehaving, often the my stern voice gets me a lot farther.

But when we start the day talking about our friendship and when I remind him throughout the day how happy I am that we are friends, then he is less likely to be difficult.

What a good friend!

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